Wednesday, August 16, 2006
OH so We BEAT RAFFLES LIKE CRAZI with a score of 15 to 10. YES WE ROCK. OMSon todae like cheered till got no voice alreadi. SORE THROAT and its PAIN. ha anyway like we got GOLD and HOLIDAY, dunno when though. Oops todae went to class LATE after recess, Talked to stan for too long, yes and stan u r rit, it is her lost for not choosing me btw many other people say that too, yes an she has bad taste lolz keep it a secret. (: anyway rekha was kind to me todae didnt scold like i immediatly said SORI and she was like nothing to say alreadi.
Haiz i didnt mean it tt way okay miin, like u know wat it means, sori if i offended u okay.Ill like remove it. Yea but still would like you as a friend. Class was funny, is always funny with shaunald and daryl and timtan in our class. LAUGHEDLAUGHEDLAUGHED. played badminton, realirealireali not good at badminton and my arms HURT from all the smashes by NICHOLAS, he smash soo FAST and make me run round the whole court. LOLZ funnytiring but FUN.
FORGIVENESS IS GOOD
WE ARE ACSI AND WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!!!
About the FTP(foreign talent policy)
Our interviewer Philip J. Ratman interviews Mr. Carey Ball, the head consultant of Scrotum Sachs, a world renowned economics consultant who is advising the Singapore parliament on how to explain the current recession to Singaporeans. Read the inside scoop on the kind of reasons that will be given to you to explain this recession!!!
Philip J Ratman: Hello Talkcockers! I have with me Mr. Carey Ball who is advising the Gahmen on how to explain explain the recession. Welcome Mr. Ball, let me start by asking, why are you being appointed?
Mr. Carey Ball: Well Philip, the government is drawing a complete blank as to why Singapore is hit with a second recession in the span of 3 years and they are scurrying for suitable explanations. That is why they hired us, an Ang Mor, sorry, foreign talent, consultant firm to give them some pointers.
Philip J Ratman: So could you tell us exactly what strategies you will be adopting to explain the bad state of the economy?
Mr. Carey Ball: Certainly. Well I've come up with a two-pronged strategy to explain the bad economy, and these are as follows: a) Blame the US economy b) Blame the Singaporean (Pink IC holders only)
Philip J Ratman: Could you explain further? You mean the government is not going to take any responsibility for the economy?
Mr. Carey Ball: Of course not! The government is never responsible for a bad economy, only a good one. Don't you know your basic principles of governance? Clearly, bad things are always due to other people and external factors. Like the US economy. Since the US economy is in a slowdown, we will tell Singaporeans that our economy is closely tied to the US economy and that we are heavily affected by any movements in the US economy.
Philip J Ratman: Wow! That is really clever... but could you explain further about the strategy of blaming the Singaporean?
Mr. Carey Ball: But of course. Our second strategy is to scold the Singaporeans, saying that it is their fault that the economy is in recession. We will say that because of their reluctance to upgrade themselves and acquire new skills, they are unable to keep pace with "the New Economy". We are therefore blaming them for their unemployment woes. Philip J Ratman: But what exactly is this term "New Economy"? I've been hearing a lot about this term lately but no one can come up with a definition of what is meant by "New Economy". Could you explain?
Mr. Carey Ball: Well, Philip, you are right. There is no definition of the term "New Economy" because no such definition exists! It is just a term we invented so that we can make it the bogeyman for all of Singapore's problems. For example, a) the falling value of the Sing Dollar - New Economy is the cause b) Cutting of Employer CPF contribution - New Economy is the cause c) MNCs relocating to Malaysia - New Economy is the cause So as you see Philip, most of Singapore's most difficult problems can be explained by inventing a new term and giving that as the reason for all of Singapore's problems.
Philip J Ratman: Now I see very clearly! It's just like the term "Asian Values". It is used time and again but no one really knows what it means!
Mr. Carey Ball: That is exactly my point! And we consultants pride ourselves on coming up with these wonderfully nebulous terms that can mean whatever we want them to mean. Now you know why they say consultancy is a mix of 'conning' and 'insulting'.
hilip J. Ratman: That's amazing. I can see why they're paying you the big bucks! I'm afraid that we have to leave it at that and thank you for the interview. This is Philip J. Ratman, for Talkingcock.com signing off and remember: When a relative gets sued, start distancing yourself by writing fiction!!!!
TAKEN FROM talkingcock.com (no sexual connotations watsoever)
9:01 PM
